"how strange and fine to get so near to it"

Liv Josephine, 8 lbs. 1 oz., 21.25"
born jan 29, 2009

"The arches of her feet are like voices
of children calling in the grove of lemon trees,
where my heart is as helpless as crushed birds."

-from "Finding Something" by jack gilbert

it's so hard to capture the magnitude of wee. the camera adds 10 weeks. this is really a small, small creature. and the next person who tells me that 8 lbs. is a big baby is going to get "the look" from me. seriously.


and now, some notes on birthing: how easy is it now?! oh, my. i went in for my regular checkup and the doc's like, how come you're still pregnant and i'm like, wish i knew, and she's like, want to have this baby today? because you're already 3 cm anyway, and i'm like, let me think, YES! and she's like, head on over to the hospital and an hour later, there i am sucking on a popsicle, having like, 6 packs of sweet jello and getting needles driven into my arms.

if anyone cares for the longer version, i'll add more later, but the short goes like this: in at noon, pitocin at 2, epidural at 4:30, baby at 7:30. with this important detail: Wee was born within about 5 minutes of the doc entering the room. NICE. the rest of the day is all about me trying to move my right leg and find a way to bust out of the hospital. the best i could do was smolder from my adjustable bed (vrrrrr, up, vrrrrr, down) and send Wee my best care-bear stare from across the room.

but now we're home, being taken care of by my dad and natalie.

and i give in. i have submitted completely to pink. i am surprised by how good it feels. (the banner on the mantle is a decoration from my killer baby shower, thrown by super-shower stylists melissa and dana*) i guess i'm just feeling a post-birth blush of happiness.

here i am glowing with gratitude as the awesome nurse drones endlessly on with a redundant list of mothering tips (sarcastic about the list, serious about the awesome nurse. all the nurses were stellar ladies, especially considering the kind of gross parts of their job that they perform cheerfully. special shout-out to marlene, our first night nurse, whom i will probably never forget).
hospital policy required us to stay for 48 HOURS after the birth so Wee could be "observed." OBSERVE THIS: me giving a nutter** to the next person who knocks politely and then barges into our room to perform some further indignity on my body, or Wee's.

*a really lovely evening, of which i have NO PICTURES because i am a lame-o and did not think about my camera once until the next morning.

**new term i learned, describing a tactic whereby i grab said person by the shoulders and smash our heads together like a couple of summer melons.