dear allyn,today you sang me an awesome potty song using only the lyrics, "pee pee" and "poop." later you stripped off all your clothes and used your underpants first as a hat and then wedged between your cheeks as a tail.
scissors across the wall. scissors across the room. scissors on the rug.
two hundred seventy-five times i have been asked for "kipper the dog watch" and 275 times i have said, "is it 5 o'clock yet?" but seriously, "IS IT FIVE O'CLOCK YET?!" i came THIS close to winding all the clocks ahead.
wailing, screaming, crying, flailing, repeating.
NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
marker on the wall. marker on the box i need to return. marker on your body.
right now you're sitting buck naked at a barstool pouring salt into your palm, licking it, coughing, and pouring again. no girl of mine is going to develop a goiter.
i understand why my mom sometimes locked herself in the bathroom when we were naughty. she did it so that she wouldn't hurt us. and i'm grateful. and metaphorically, i'm writing this from the bathroom. please don't hurt Liv while i'm hiding out.
we did have fun at the library today and you did so many things that made me laugh. for the most part, Liv's naps are keeping us housebound.you are using the opportunity of close quarters to test each and every limit...basically doing your job. well done, you! and if anyone is reading this, i don't want you to feel sorry for me or for her. we are both getting exactly what we need.
guess what?! it's FIVE O'CLOCK right ... NOW!
10 comments:
Oh man--can I relate to days like this! Glad you made it to 5:00. Hope tomorrow is better for all of you!
Seriously laughing my head off! I'm sorry Sherry, but it just sounds soooooooo familiar. I wish I could say it gets easier when they're older......but alas and alack...there will always be times you want to lock yourself (or your child) in the bathroom. But it does get funnier in retrospect. Hang it there....it's always (according to Jimmy Buffet and Alan Jackson) five o' clock SOMEWHERE.
Your girls crack me up. But only because this is just about the same thing that goes on in my house. Thanks for verbalizing some of those moments that all small people (and their mothers) experience.
I am curious about "kipper the dog watch" Is it a show, a book, something you do at 5 o'clock??
And I love that your mom locked herself in the bathroom. I will have to give that a try instead of screaming into a pillow, may be a bit less dramatic :)
Oh, oh, oh, Miss Sherry. This sounds sooo familiar to me too! I have a photo of Annie and Alex sitting side by side in the doorway of my shower (half in and half out of the shower)while I'm trying to get ready for the day. I'm finally getting dressed and they're taking off the clothes I've already put on them!
aw, mom, we were just giving you exactly what you need...and still are, i'm sure.
great post, sherry!
haha! love it!
It gets worse!!! Not to depress you or anything, but one day you'll be dealing with that three year old while you have a baby and two older kids. Sure you want to have more? :) ha ha!
i continually apologize to my parents, for being a kid, just about every time we talk. i just feel SOOOOOO bad for anything and everything i ever did.
She's a little firecracker, that one! Which means she will be an amazing adult just like her mama and her mama's mama.
Here's one of my blasts from the past. From Duncan: "Momwillyouplaycatchwithme? Momwillyouplaycatchwithme? Momwillyouplaycatchwithme? Momwillyouplaycatchwithme? x 100 million per day.
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