Little's song

music overheard today:

"My birthday is Wednesday. But I said 'No, it's not.' But my Dad said my birthday is Wednesday. But NO, it's not!"

{proving that perception is not reality since 2006}

our day so far

dear allyn,

today you sang me an awesome potty song using only the lyrics, "pee pee" and "poop." later you stripped off all your clothes and used your underpants first as a hat and then wedged between your cheeks as a tail.

scissors across the wall. scissors across the room. scissors on the rug.

two hundred seventy-five times i have been asked for "kipper the dog watch" and 275 times i have said, "is it 5 o'clock yet?" but seriously, "IS IT FIVE O'CLOCK YET?!" i came THIS close to winding all the clocks ahead.

wailing, screaming, crying, flailing, repeating.

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

marker on the wall. marker on the box i need to return. marker on your body.

right now you're sitting buck naked at a barstool pouring salt into your palm, licking it, coughing, and pouring again. no girl of mine is going to develop a goiter.

i understand why my mom sometimes locked herself in the bathroom when we were naughty. she did it so that she wouldn't hurt us. and i'm grateful. and metaphorically, i'm writing this from the bathroom. please don't hurt Liv while i'm hiding out.

we did have fun at the library today and you did so many things that made me laugh. for the most part, Liv's naps are keeping us housebound.you are using the opportunity of close quarters to test each and every limit...basically doing your job. well done, you! and if anyone is reading this, i don't want you to feel sorry for me or for her. we are both getting exactly what we need.

guess what?! it's FIVE O'CLOCK right ... NOW!

little red riding hood is in the doghouse

i am told that i'm going to go in the woods and the wolf is going to eat me and the cutter one {i.e., the woodcutter} is going to save the rat {instead of me}.

can't remember what i did wrong but boy, was it wrong.

if she doesn't learn another thing

at least she shares my love of tape. a joy and a bond forever.

reminds me of my second favorite New Yorker cartoon, by Sam Gross.

{here's my favorite}

and if tomorrow i'm an apple seller too

i don't need anything but you.

as of tonight the apples are officially out of our house and out of our lives. it's been an experience to remember & learn from. and i am so grateful to all of you who joined in the fun.

{we made a lot of applesauce}

{and apple pie}

{and made a large delivery to the Los Angeles food bank}

{and just snacked and snacked on those tasty buggers}

there is nothing like a bountiful harvest to lead into the thanksgiving season. and yet. i declare december the month of oranges.

the {relative} peace of wild things

i'm sorry, did you need something? i can't see you because of this giant pile of laundry.

this morning i attempted to break the cycle of laziness and gluttony that made me a less than average mom this week.
no, that's being kind. i was just a turd out there.

bim just replaced our burgled tv and we have made up for a summer without it in about two days.

i know i said a couple of posts back that halloween candy is wonderful and i stand by that. but it also slows me down considerable, and makes me stupid and squishy and sleepy. compounding the problem, Wee attempted to eat all the crayons in the house and i had to eat them myself before she could hurt herself.

a couple of weeks ago while suffering from a brief spasm of energy, i made this quick dress for Little out of fabric scraps and dishtowels. it still has a safety pin for a button and there is not now, nor will there ever be, a hem {so i guess there wasn't exactly a surfeit of energy}. she wore it asleep and awake for days and at no time during that standoff did a comb touch a hair of her head.

there have been words exchanged that i'm sure Little would like to take back. i'm sure i would {if i were her}.

which brings me to this morning. the heat seems to have broken, both literally and metaphorically. in celebration, i got up 15 minutes earlier to walk up our street alone before bim left for work. it's not ambitious, folks, but it's a start. {or a one-time thing i can look back on reverentially.} and the bomb in my brain reset to explode another day. we made it through breakfast, second breakfast, nap, second nap, a lull for self-loathing/reflection, lunch and then... {wait for it} i pulled it together and took the girls to the park. it was almost chilly. friends were there. she ran and ran and ran.

and that has made all the difference.

i hope you all have time to do a little thing that lifts you, be it ever so slightly, this week/end.
i'd love to hear about it.

threats & warnings

Little to me: "I'm gonna put you in the SKY and you're gonna SIT on a CLOUD!"

that'll teach me.

oft-heard phraseology: "I! DON'T! LIKE! THOSE! CHOICES!" & "Get out of my way!" & a personal favorite, "DON'T! PINCH! MY! BONO!"

that last one may have been legit. still, does anyone have any good recommendations for toddler charm school? i would pay money to see any old lady try to put white gloves on my miss. she is...how shall i put it? AWESOME.

more looky less talky

i'm more of an exhibitionist than a blogger lately. october's been a month to remember for many reasons, most notably for the passing of my grandpa clyde. it's been too big a topic to take on. until then, more pictures.