it occurred to me recently that calling myself "absent-minded" is basically a nice way of saying, i am too busy attending to my own needs to give respectful attention to yours.ironically, i have a vague recollection of having realized this before.... like one of my roommates used to say, it's really hard to be me.
nonetheless, it's time for me to stop leaning on an old excuse to justify my: lack of organization; forgetfulness of all things event and detail related; cluelessness about others' feelings...
now i am a mom and my lack of diligent attention could have serious consequences. so, in the spirit of honest confession (vulgar and public tho' it may be), i am going to try to change.
pretty soon you will all (i hope, i hope) be referring to me as a wizard of details, a master of responsibility, and a sparkling paragon of social virtues. when i lapse, you all have permission to punch me in the face. let the betterment begin.
8 comments:
You are being far too hard on yourself. I'm not saying you are perfect in every way. I'm saying we all have frailty. IF we are doing our best, no one can ask for more. The realy question is, Are you doing your best? If the answer is no, then you need to make moves to change. Prayer helps in so many ways. I have to pray daily to get along with S. DAILY. When I do things are better, not perfect, better and when I don't...well, it's kind of my own fault for not praying.
If you have a problem remembering things get a calender. Not one of those with the cute picture at the top a real mom calender. The website more time for moms has a great one and so does Flylady. I've had both calenders and they work great. I never make a commitment unless the calender is in front of me. I tell people to call me so I can check. I know that I probably won't remember to call, so if it's important to them they will call me. I also write down things I need to do other days of the week on the calender. That way I have a list and can check it off. I write down when people are sick, everything. That makes it great, it lets me look back and see when things happened. Then, this is key, look at you calender EVERY MORNING. Put it where you will see it. I keep mine on the side of the fridge, I've had it on a pantry door too. Look for a place that is visible and near a phone. and don't take on more than you feel you can. You are allowed to say no. Try it...now doesn't that feel better.
Remember that your hormones are effecting your memory. I'm still recovering from mine and I only made it to 9 week pregnant. It really does effect your brain, but, in time, you will recover.
Yes, if bad things continue forever, it will have a lasting effect. But our kids are extremely forgiving and forgetful. They love us more unconditionally, than we love them. It's true, I confess of this myself. Tough times will come and you will sometimes not the the right thing. Apologize to little and ask for forgiveness. Ask Heavenly Father to forgive you and help you to do better.
Managing two kids is tough from the beginning. First, you're sick and tired; next, you're huge; and finally, you have another little person to take care of. Adding one, is not adding one. At first it feels like dozens and you don't know how you're going to cope and then all of a sudden, there's a schedule, and you do!
Motherhood is not as easy as I thought it wold be. It's a tough job, but very rewarding. I must say, I think you are a great mom. Little is very lucky to have you. As I read your blog I wish I could be more like you. And I wish you were closer, but that's another blog entry.
I love you. And would never punch you in the face, even if you deserved it, because there are very few things you could do that I haven't and I like my nose the way that it is.
I've never known you to be clueless about my feelings...in fact, you've been a delight to read and hear from.
My only suggestion, though, is to let technology be your memory. I have a cheap service that sends me an email whenever someone's birthday is coming up. Not only does it send me one but TWO reminders as the day draws closer. It also provides a link to an e-card website and sends reminders for upcoming holidays. It's really nice and makes people think I have it together...wait, I guess my secret is out!
Let me know if you want the website. :o)
C
I'm going to skip ahead and start calling you "wizard" and "master" now -way more fun (especially if I can add 'speedo' to "wizard'.)
You're wonderful. We all have times of self-centeredness. I could be more outward-thinking myself most of the time.
Best of luck with all the details and responsibilities. It looks like the above comments have given good suggestions for calendars and the like.
When asked by my many admirers to share my successful childrearing techniques, I have just two words: benign neglect. :>)
If every I am asked for my personal retrenchment plan, I shall henceforth, use your most excellent model to respond: 1) I am a wizard of details. I tie my walking shoes every time I put them on. Both of them. 2) I have reached a certain degree of self-mastery by cleaning the kitchen sink and washing all the dishes at least twice a week, whether they need it or not. This qualifies me as a master of responsibility. 3) I consider it my social and civic duty to regularly peruse the card section at the grocery store and I have purchased many really great greeting cards for lots of people. In fact, think I still have most of them.
XOXOXOXO
Addendum to #3 above: This would make me a sparkling paragon of social virtues.
P.S. Me again. Did I mention that I think you're practically perfect in every way? Given that we all have those secret mean thoughts and lazy moments (okay, decades, in my case) that nobody but our inner self knows about, it would appear that we should all be repenting every day. True. But eternity is a long time, and sometimes, yup, we're not in the MOOD to improve every single second. So, cut yourself some slack and read this article that caught my eye this morning after reading your blog. It's in today's Deseret News at deseretnews.com, Family & Life section, written by Erin Stewart and entitled 'Baby brain' comes with territory when you're a mom.
um ok. can i just say that i love you? and that you're wonderful? because you are. and kind and insightful and lovely (and of good report and praisworthy). in fact, i seek after you. and if anyone dares punch you in the face, i will kick them in the shins.
I felt like this yesterday when we went to a bbq at a friend's house. After some other guests arrived, I remember that the bbq was for their birthdays, which had been earlier in the week. What a space cadet I am sometimes. It was embarrassing.
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