"i wasted time and now time wasteth me"

- william p. shakespeare


a few of you may remember a resolution i made not too long ago: to be more deliberate, more thoughtful and less scatter-brained.

so far this week i have forgotten the following (all of which were clearly marked on my fridge calendar):
(1) a meeting i had planned on going to for months;
(2) a neighborhood barbecue thrown by a friend two streets away, to which i was supposed to bring a potluck dish;
(3) a promise i made to help clean the church.

i know, big deal. and yet. recently it occurred to me that if i shaved off my right eyebrow i could get at the zit underneath--and for a good 30 seconds it seemed like a good idea. also i attempted to make sugar cookies with whole wheat flour. also i forgot to turn on the oven.

let's agree that i should take it easy on myself and reduce the mental strain. from now until further notice (like, when my next-born turns two), i'm on vacation. apologies if you have a birthday or anniversary coming up. feel free to remind me, but hang tight to that sage playground wisdom: you get what you get and you don't throw a fit.

classified

wanted

-leotard and tights, size XL-XXL. expandable waist.

-large, dark sunglasses, mustache and false nose, or equally suitable disguise.

-intimidating/inspiring super-name.

-killer logo, possibly using lightning, nunchucks, or food.

-food.

pretend this is REALLY serious

"i believe i did what honor dictated, and that belief sustains me. except for a slight desire to be dead, which i'm sure will pass."
-marlon brando as fletcher christian, mutiny on the bounty

:: :: :: :: ::

i don't like having to explain myself. it gives me a pain in my stomach. the more personal or inflammatory the subject, the less i enjoy the sound of my own opinion. on small, unimportant subjects i could talk forever. normal, right?

sometimes i get forced into a corner and keeping quiet would be a kind of giving in, so i open my mouth--and almost invariably regret it. i really have no interest in changing someone else's opinion. i like different opinions. so wouldn't a firm policy of cowardice be more livable?

this is where i should give specifics, but i'm not going to. i just want to know how you other people deal with the anxiety of openness.

when you believe in something, do you speak up? when? what if it would cost you peace of mind, or make you misunderstood, or end a friendship?

WELL??!!

today in america

this year, the race for president has not been dominated by old white men. nor even entirely by men!

join me for a WHOOPEE!!!!

i just heard a gorgeous speech and, for the first time in my whole life, i felt moved to tears by a living politician (tears of outrage don't count). all week on the radio i have heard people of color call in to say they didn't think they'd live to see a black candidate nominated by a major political party. a moving statement on its own, but even more so given the historic event we are witnessing. of course, like stephen colbert, i don't see race. i am actually crazy about the guy. i wonder how many baby boys this year will be named barack (besides mine, i mean).*

delightful.

seriously, am i still talking? i think i'm sweating. i'm not sure i can sleep. i'm going to go eat some fig newtons about it.

here's another great speech to remember, delivered 45 years ago on this day, and another one, delivered 145 years ago.

*i'm kidding about that. i won't know if it's a boy until sept. 8. and it's possible hubs will exercise his veto power. stay tuned.

retiring the old flag

Little's outgrown this header, so we're movin' on. or at least i will be as soon as i can design an adequate replacement. if only i had photoshop. or anything besides paint.

diseased like me

addendum to below: there is no apparent advantage to synesthesia. it's pretty much just a weird quirk.

i have been waiting since grade school for the world at large to discover that i am mentally off kilter. or a screaming genius. wikipedia finally stepped in to confirm that i was born with a neurological condition called synesthesia. this totally makes up for me not getting to wear glasses until 8th grade.

synesthesia is not life threatening. it means, basically, that two or more of my sensory streams get crossed in my mind. it's different for every "synesthete," but most people fall into certain recognizable groups.

for me, it means i mentally map the days of the year in a specific spacial sequence, on a kind of curvy graph. i can draw the map, which always looks the same in my mind. also i associate every day of the week with a specific color.

MONDAY
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
FRIDAY
SATURDAY
SUNDAY (white)

(oh, also i associate certain people with certain animals. but i don't think that counts. too bad i can't show you my florida driver's license: i look exactly like a brown cocker spaniel.)

so, how many of you out there are synesthetes too? until i talked to a few people who had never heard of this, i assumed everyone was. are you? if so, how does it manifest?

p.s. this post sounds kind of braggy. i mean, it is really special. but don't feel bad if you're not a synesthete. you may still get the chance, apparently through the use of psychedelic drugs, or following a stroke, or during a routine temporal lobe epileptic seizure.

"sometimes i feel like i ain't never been nothin' but tired"

- patty griffin
but we keep on truckin' in spite of ourselves! we remind ourselves with deep gratitude that we are not on a presidential campaign. nor are we our hubs, who has worked every waking hour for these many months and is now on a business trip that promises a little less sleep and still more work. you go get that deposition, bim! slap it in the face. yeah.

i am singing a new song this trimester. it's all about not being sick, and there are lots of trills and flourishes. but you will no doubt recognize a recurrent theme in the chorus: i am tired, so very tired.

a few tidbits:

:: today i found the biggest live cockroach i have ever seen (counting all of my new york, LA and miami apartments). in my laundry basket. SHUT UP, it was in a CLEAN room! please don't assume that my lack of enthusiasm for housework has been leaked to the bug community. i think it scurried in last night when bim kept opening the front door, waiting for a package to be delivered. you can believe it scurried back out again when i found it. Little was beyond delighted. because what's better than a bug? a GIANT bug.

:: i refuse to eat any food flavored with garlic until further notice. (or to kiss anyone who has chosen *so unwisely* to eat said food.) i will, on the other hand, rush to eat an entire pot of white rice mixed with cream of chicken soup (WHAT?) and sour cream (SHUT UP!) and canned chicken (oh, sweet mother) and canned pineapple (i. could. be. dead.). i am not a proud woman, but come on. stand back with me and give pregnancy the awe and wonder it deserves.

:: and now, some pictures. this is the chapter...

in which we 'spect stuff;

in which we play favorites;

in which we ride a runaway train;

in which we jump aboard a stage coach goin' nowhere;

in which we scale the pyramids of egypt. except we're really in simi valley at an animal farm;

in which we lose our pants and pan for gold;

in which we find our pants just in time to tame a wild bronco;


and in which (inadequately supervised) we see what will fit inside of what else.

Wandering Waif Collection GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

thanks to dana--a very talented maker of things--for this fun site for moms who sew (or just appreciate creative projects). you can't say there's a lack of inspiration out there. maybe just a lack of time? i'm a little fabric poor right now, but am stockpiling ideas for a sometime day.

Wandering Waif Collection GIVEAWAY !!!!!!!

retiring the old flag

Little's outgrown this header, so we're movin' on. if only i had photoshop. or anything besides paint.

i say toe-may-toe

they're growing!

today Little encountered her first rolie polie potato bug. she was delighted, but as the science experiment progressed i had to intervene to save its life.


below: for our anniversary, bim & i decided to get family bikes. Little likes to go fast. she yells, "yay, bikes!!!" as we coast downhill. when bim gets home from work, Little is waiting for him at the door to hand him his bike helmet, all the while bossing me to get mine, and putting on her own (backwards).

huntington library children's garden

thank you for taking us, kathryn & lillian! can't wait to do it again.

one more round on als

Little has learned a useful new phrase: "one mo'?"

her manipulative technique is strong to very-strong, but what seals the deal every time is the single chubby finger raised in the air. "one?"

she uses this against bim to get "mo' mo' penguins" (YouTube clips of Happy Feet) or "mo' mo' ball" (the entrancing ING Direct web site).

in other news, we're back from utah (bim, for friend rob's wedding) and seattle/portland (me & Little, for to visit sister & brother). i can't decide which moment was my favorite, what with all the mashed potato eating and sewing and skinny dipping in lake washington (Little, not me).

in portland we took the bestie cousins (Little & Lyza) to the imagination station--a giant, killer castle-like wooden play structure that our troutdale community built when i was in high school--and let them run wild. they are at the age where they interact a lot and Little could hardly bear to be separated, even for the 5 -minute drive back to the house.

in seattle we were housebound much of the time due to a vehicle malfunction (who needs a radiator?), so we didn't get to see as many friends as we would have liked (next time, guys!!), but lauren & eric more than made up for any lack with sweeeeet food and fun times. also, i got my hair cut and ate at specialty's deli no less than 5 times in as many days.

here are some pictures to help us remember a pretty perfect week. (what made it less perfect was not having bim with us, and learning that he spent the last day and a half of his deeply deserved vacation sick in bed. he had to miss sushi by the famous chef rob hale at the flying sumo in park city. what words of comfort could compensate for this loss?)

meeting new friends at crossroads park by the giant spouting orca (camera shutter stuck)

lolling with lola

lake washington with traci & marcel (before Little decided she was "all done" wearing clothes)

challenging lyza to a color-off (lyza really is a lefty--oowee!)

pancho & lefty romping in panty-hats

multnomah falls

playing "wake up!" with eric (shutter stuck again)

"mo' mo' mouse!" (ratatouille) with the diaz duo

breakfast: let the ham feasting begin

mo' mo' lyza!