A Safe Place

Some things worry me. "Things" that are, for me, too frightening or disturbing even to write down. I won't go into them here.

But some things don't worry me at all--my home, my future. And here's the big one: my hubs. I am married to someone whose actions obey a conscious, deliberate desire to do right by people. Whose affection is abundant and genuine. Who strives for great things but does nothing at the expense of his family. Who is not above wearing a stupid hat if I ask him to.

Bim just had a birthday and boy am I glad he was born. My love for him is as strong as the shins of a billygoat. As long as all the hotwheels in all the world lined up end to end. As deep as a bearskin rug to a deer tick.

In other words, infinity times infinity.

Because of him I am in a safe place, where I can think and say what's in my heart (even when it's scary) without fear of losing his love and respect. Without that freedom, I think I would be preoccupied with finding it. Having the need met - so frankly that I could easily forget how remarkable it is - lets me think about other things, things not necessarily relating to my personal happiness. Imagine what that means to a person. He makes it possible for me to be greater than I am.

And it's not even my birthday.

We move next week and he has been released from his job as seminary teacher. But tonight he is spending his hours driving those high school kids around Miami so they can have one last party. He spent all afternoon preparing for it and ignored all of my corner-cutting suggestions. That's why he's my favorite.

Happy Birthday, Bim.

(Those of you who know and love Bim, please join me in wishing him a happy 30th! Really, join me - leave comments.)